Where Have All The Father’s Gone? *Weekend Open Thread*


When I was growing up I had, as most children do, conflicts with my parents. My parents were relatively strict, Mom more than Dad, and I was relatively rebellious. I say relatively because too much rebellion earned me a result that caused me to sit carefully for a couple of days.

Punishment was usually administered by Mom since Dad was in the Army and not always around. And let’s face it, when he was around the last thing he wanted to do was spank his little girl. I knew that and boy did I work it. Don’t we all?

That special relationship remained until my father died. Even through his illness, even through Alzheimer’s. Dad was Dad and would always love and protect me. I never doubted it.

Now I look around and wonder if little girls growing up now can be as sure that Dad will be there to protect and care for them. I’m not talking the despicable men that father children and then are not and never will be Dad. I am talking the Dad that loves his little girl. The Dad that little girls know will approve of her and love her no matter what happens.  Sad, mad and spankings aside, love is there. And the little girl knows that. Only Grandpa is more forgiving and after all, he was a Dad once too.

I cannot even imagine what Dad would say to a President of the United States insisting that men and boys could go into a ladies bathroom with his precious daughter. I doubt he would have said a whole lot had some man attempted to enter a public bathroom when my mother and I were inside. I supect the image below would have been about right:

Dad was rather direct that way when someone or something threatened those he loved.

What I don’t see, or hear, is the voice of millions of father’s saying NO! I don’t hear the anger or the outrage I expected to hear. I don’t have a lot of faith in my fellow citizens anymore but I was sure this was one issue that would united parents against the Potty President and all his ilk. I hear the “sounds of silence” or something damn close.

I know what I would have heard just a generation ago. And it wouldn’t have been crickets.

Where have all the father’s gone? Where are the father’s who would fight to their last breath for their little girls, their wives, their sisters? Are there any left? Are their numbers so small that the sound of their outrage is but a whisper? Is this all there is?

Is the loving, caring father one more loss in this country where nothing is sacred and nothing is of particular value? Morals aren’t important – religion is disappearing and attacked everywhere – values? What values?

We have lost many things in this country. Good government – a decent justice system – a hard working stand on your own two feet citizenry and now Dads too?

I would not be one-half the woman I am today if my Dad hadn’t loved me and made me feel special and let me know that while he might not always approve of what I did he always approved of me.

Mom was very special and came to be my very best friend. She taught me much of what makes me the woman I grew up to be.

Dad, he made me feel special in a way no one else ever has since. I wonder how many little girls will say that in the years to come. I hope there are many. Because some of us just cannot reach our full potential without our Dad. Some of you are strong enough to make it without, I don’t think I would have been. I barely made it with.

And I look around at what is happening, the coarsening of the culture, the lack of morals, the sense of a lost decency and I worry for all the little girls growing up. My granddaughters grew up with good fathers. They may not always have been the best of men but they were always the very best Dads they knew how to be. I’m grateful that their father and I at least got that right. Especially since I have 7 Granddaughters and 3 Great Granddaughters



22 Responses to “Where Have All The Father’s Gone? *Weekend Open Thread*”

  1. helenk3 Says:

    though I would bring this forward from the last post to start off Father’s Day weekend


    • kenoshamarge Says:

      Thanks for the memories Helen! I loved Chuck Barry and his music. Did you notice how clean cut the kids in that clip looked? Boys in suits and ties? Hard to believe how much things have changed.

  2. helenk3 Says:

    my daughters had their dad wrapped around their little fingers. I watched my grand daughters do the same to their dads. Those girls never had a doubt that their dads loved them. It is a nice thing to see. My daughters still miss their dad and my oldest and youngest granddaughter miss their dad every day.
    The main thing that their dads taught them was do not be afraid to try. I think that is one of the best lessons in life you can get

    • kenoshamarge Says:

      For me having a father who would applaud me when I won and comfort me when I failed made me try when otherwise my courage might have deserted me.

      You were strong enough to make it without the love and support you needed from a good father Helen – not many are. It speaks to me of what a strong women you are.

      But you provided your daughters and granddaughters with what you didn’t have. They were enriched by that. Bless you.

  3. helenk3 Says:

    why fathers need patience

  4. kenoshamarge Says:

    True Father’s Day Stories

      The Right Choice

    My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father’s Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father.

    Upon opening it, Dad read this message: “You’ve been like a father to me.”
    He looked at Ryan, puzzled.

    “Well, Dad,” Ryan tried to explain, “it was either that or the card that said, ‘Now that I’m a father too!’”

      Thanks for the Soda, Pop!

    Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.

      Say What, Dad?

    Our Gen-X daughter, Cristie, made my husband a Father’s Day card entitled “Things My Dad Would Never Say.” Such as:

    “Can you turn up that music?”

    “Go ahead and take my truck. Here’s 50 bucks for gas.”

    “I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones.”

    “Here, you take the remote.”

      Watch the Wash, Dad…

    I decided to make myself useful and do a load of the family laundry. When I took the clothes out of the machine, I discovered — to my dismay — that I had also washed the watch my wife had given me while we were dating. “Don’t expect me to replace it,” she said later with an obvious lack of sympathy. By the time Father’s Day rolled around, however, she had relented and gave me a beautiful new watch. Attached was a note with this stipulation: “DRY-CLEAN ONLY!”

      What a Card!

    Father’s Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.

    When I looked back, Tyler was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. “Tyler, what are you doing?” I asked. “Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”

    “No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”

      Papa Bear

    My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears — one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. “See, Connor?” he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. “That’s Daddy.”

    Connor’s eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, “You used to be a bear?”

      Pop Vs. Pup

    While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.”

      Paternal Payback

    On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked.

    “Kirsten, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”

      No. 1 on the List — Literally!

    My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.

    Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.

  5. kenoshamarge Says:

  6. helenk3 Says:

    this was on facebook today. I will remember it always.
    for my friends here.
    I wish you enough


  7. helenk3 Says:

    for the dads here

  8. cindyindie Says:

    Cuzin! Just popped in to say “hey” to everyone!
    What a special treat to read your EXCELLENT post! It is the best thing I’ve read in a long time.
    Bless the memory of your sweet Dad and all of our dads.
    I just LOVE the bathroom cartoon….As I said—An excellent post!
    Thank you! Love to all…

    • kenoshamarge Says:

      Cindy, so glad you stopped by. And thank you for your kind words. Nice to “see” you again. Isn’t that bathroom cartoon a great one? One more example of why I love cartoons.

      And yes today let’s bless our dads and all the wonderful dads out there that make our lives so much better.

      • cindyindie Says:

        Thanks Marge—-I’m tres busy with Vacation Bible School, grandkids, etc… but hope to be back soon!

        • kenoshamarge Says:

          You are missed when you are gone and welcomed when you come back.

          Although I was “officially” a Catholic there were times when Dad was not around, Mom would send me to Vacation Bible School. (She was a Methodist.)

          I still remember a nice lady who instead of being angry with me because I was one of those kids that just can’t sit still, a fidgeter if there ever was one, gave me a book, The Big Book of Bible Stories.

          Even then, I was about 5 or 6 I think, a book was a treasure. She never had another problem with me figeting all summer long. Smart lady. I still bless her memory.

  9. kenoshamarge Says:

    Why ‘Father of the Year’ George W. Bush Decided to Give Up Alcohol


  10. kenoshamarge Says:

  11. kenoshamarge Says:

    A Father Is The Person Who Notices

    Thank you: to the husbands and fathers who come home from full-time jobs and mow their lawns, take out the trash, repair the car, fix the broken washing machine, walk the dog, and play with the kids.

    Thank you to the men who babysit so their wives can have a nice night out, or read books to their children before bed.

    Thank you to the dads who go to every baseball game and ballet recital, who work extra hours to make sure there’s dinner on the table, who don’t know how to fold a fitted sheet but make sure the gas tank is always full.

    Thank you for noticing, for loving, for serving. We notice you, and we are thankful.


  12. kenoshamarge Says:

    This Father’s Day tribute to his father is from a year ago. I never saw it then. I am so glad I saw it now. Thank you Senator Cruz for letting us know your father.

  13. helenk3 Says:


    can we have a do over on the msm?

  14. helenk3 Says:

  15. helenk3 Says:


    how a welfare state dies

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